This song & its title was answer to a recent Final Jeopardy -- only one person got it right -- question was (paraphrased) "What 1980's song do history teachers praise for its educational value." Never could understand all the references on Billy Joel's song -- fortunately, with this VIDEO, given the picture(s), now can "see" what our "ears" couldn't. Anyway, checked to see purpose behind the song. Apparently, it's Joel's homage to the 40-years of historical headlines since his birth (1949). Wish we could have appreciated the depths of this song when it was released. Twenty years later, it's amazing what Joel was able to put into music and lyrics lasting only a few minutes.
Here it is, set to pictures... . It's a neat flashback through the past half century. Turn up volume, sit back and enjoy a review of 50 years of history in less than 3 minutes! Thanks to Billy Joel and some guy from the University of Chicago with a lot of spare time and Google.
Top left gives you full screen....top right lets you pause. Bottom left shows the year. The older you are, the more pictures you will recognize. Anyone over age 65 should remember over 90% of what they see. But it's great at any age.
Click Here: We Didn't Start The Fire
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers who can remember doing the "Limbo as if it were yesterday.
They include:
Bobby Darin ---
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' A Flash
Herman's Hermits ---
Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
Ringo Starr ---
I Get By With A Little Help From Depends
?
The Bee Gees -- -
How Can You Mend A Broken Hip?
Roberta Flack---
The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face?
?
Johnny Nash ---
I Can't See Clearly Now.?
Paul Simon---
Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver
The Commodores ---
Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom
Procol Harem---
A Whiter Shade Of Hair?
Leo Sayer --- You Make Me Feel Like Napping
The Temptations --- Papa's Got A Kidney Stone
Abba---
Denture Queen
"You haven't seen my teeth have you Wilma?
Tony Orlando ---
Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall
Helen Reddy ---
I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore
Leslie Gore---
It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To
And Last but NOT least...
Willie Nelson ---
On the Commode Again
They include:
Bobby Darin ---
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' A Flash
Herman's Hermits ---
Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
Ringo Starr ---
I Get By With A Little Help From Depends
?
The Bee Gees -- -
How Can You Mend A Broken Hip?
Roberta Flack---
The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face?
?
Johnny Nash ---
I Can't See Clearly Now.?
Paul Simon---
Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver
The Commodores ---
Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom
Procol Harem---
A Whiter Shade Of Hair?
Leo Sayer --- You Make Me Feel Like Napping
The Temptations --- Papa's Got A Kidney Stone
Abba---
Denture Queen
"You haven't seen my teeth have you Wilma?
Tony Orlando ---
Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall
Helen Reddy ---
I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore
Leslie Gore---
It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To
And Last but NOT least...
Willie Nelson ---
On the Commode Again
Read this very slowly!
READ THIS VERY SLOWLY... IT'S PRETTY PROFOUND.
Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.
I got to thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.
How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?
How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?
I cannot count the times I called my sister and said , 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.
Because People cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!
We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Tommy toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.
Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'
When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.
My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.
Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to...not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? ;And why are you waiting?
Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you.
Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask 'How are you?' Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see her sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi'?
When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away.... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.
Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND including me if you consider me a friend. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.
To those I have sent this to... I cherish our friendship and appreciate all you do.
'Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!'
Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.
I got to thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.
How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?
How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?
I cannot count the times I called my sister and said , 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.
Because People cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!
We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Tommy toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.
Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'
When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.
My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.
Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to...not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? ;And why are you waiting?
Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you.
Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask 'How are you?' Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see her sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi'?
When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away.... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.
Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND including me if you consider me a friend. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.
To those I have sent this to... I cherish our friendship and appreciate all you do.
'Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!'
Sunday, October 24, 2010
The Husband Store
The Husband Store
Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York
City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions
at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors
and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose
to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit
the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor,
where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely
Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead
Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead
Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth
floor, where the sign reads:
Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York
City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions
at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors
and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose
to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit
the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor,
where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely
Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead
Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead
Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth
floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that
women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband
Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened
a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money
and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never
been visited.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that
women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband
Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened
a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money
and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never
been visited.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Why We Miss Rodney Dangerfield
Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield..........
Because he said ....
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'
I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.
I knew a girl so ugly... they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night.
MY FAVORITE:
My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.
Because he said ....
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'
I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.
I knew a girl so ugly... they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night.
MY FAVORITE:
My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
My Son
This one just touched me!!
My Son
his is great, take a moment to read it, it will make your day!
The ending will surprise you.
Take my Son.....
A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, fromPicasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art..
When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.
About a month later, just before Christmas,
There was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands..
He said, 'Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly... He often talked about you, and your love for art.' The young man held out this package. 'I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this.'
The father
Opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture.. 'Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift.'
The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.
The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.
On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. 'We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?'
There was silence...
Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, 'We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one.'
But the auctioneer persisted. 'Will somebody bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?'
Another voice angrily. 'We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Gogh's, the Rembrandts. Get on with the Real bids!'
But still the auctioneer continued. 'The son! The son! Who'll take the son?'
Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. 'I'll give $10 for the painting...' Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.
'We have $10, who will bid $20?'
'Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters.'
The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son.
They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.
The auctioneer pounded the gavel.. 'Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!'
A man sitting on the second row shouted, 'Now let's get on with the collection!'
The auctioneer laid down his gavel. 'I'm sorry, the auction is over.'
'What about the paintings?'
'I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will.... I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.
The man who took the son gets everything!'
God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: 'The son, the son, who'll take the son?'
Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.
FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE.....THAT'S LOVE
d back to the one who sent it to you.
God Bless.
If I don't get this back, I will know you really didn't read it. I got this from someone and thought the last part was really a good thought..
Too bad that the person who sent it to me did not know 10 people who would admit to knowing the Lord.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Truth for Mature Adults
Truth for Mature Adults
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure
I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the
rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't
want to have to restart my collection...again.
1 3. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I
did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.
15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to
prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and
sisters!
20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.
21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.
22 . Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -
but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away,
in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
23 . The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and
the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men
to realize that their brain is also important.
Ladies.....Quit Laughing
'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. '
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Grandma's
Grandmas.....
I was out walking with my Grandson. He picked up something off of the ground and started to put it in his mouth. I took the item away from him and I asked him not to do that. 'Why' my Grandson asked. "Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs," I replied. At this point, my Grandson looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Grandma, how do you know all this stuff?? You are so smart." I was thinking quickly and said to him, "all Grandmas know stuff. It's on the Grandma Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Grandma." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but he was evidently pondering this new information. "Oh....I get it! He beamed, So if you don't pass the test you have to be the Grandpa". 'Exactly,' I replied with a big smile on my face.
When you're finished laughing, send this to another Grandma!!
I was out walking with my Grandson. He picked up something off of the ground and started to put it in his mouth. I took the item away from him and I asked him not to do that. 'Why' my Grandson asked. "Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs," I replied. At this point, my Grandson looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Grandma, how do you know all this stuff?? You are so smart." I was thinking quickly and said to him, "all Grandmas know stuff. It's on the Grandma Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Grandma." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but he was evidently pondering this new information. "Oh....I get it! He beamed, So if you don't pass the test you have to be the Grandpa". 'Exactly,' I replied with a big smile on my face.
When you're finished laughing, send this to another Grandma!!
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