Truth for Mature Adults

Truth for Mature Adults  

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your  

computer history if you die.  

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.  

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was  

younger.  

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.  

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?  

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?  

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure  

I know how to get out of my neighborhood.  

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the  

person died.  

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.  

10. Bad decisions make good stories.  

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work  

when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the  

rest of the day.  

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't  

want to have to restart my collection...again.  

1 3. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if  

I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I  

did not make any changes to.  

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to  

answer when they call.  

15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or  

Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.  

16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.  

17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.  

18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and  

smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?  

19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to  

prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers  and  

sisters!  

20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,  

and you can wear them forever.  

21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not  

know what time it is.  

22   . Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys  

in a  pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -  

but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away,  

in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!  

23   . The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and  

the first helmet  was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men  

to realize that their brain is also important.  

Ladies.....Quit  Laughing  

'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. '